


Captain Of A Sinking Ship

by DefaltManifesto



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Melancholy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 23:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: Her instincts scream at her that there’s something she’s missing, that there’s an important piece to the puzzle that she’s missing and if she just knew what it was she’d be able to stop whatever it was that was going to take him away from her.





	Captain Of A Sinking Ship

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering why I'm writing another fic with heterosexual sex in it I DON'T KNOW AND I'D LIKE SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING. I swear next time they're gonna revoke my gay card like what the fuck
> 
> This is just some fic I'm using to cope with my angst about my current playthrough of Inquisition with my transwoman Lavellan Inquisitor. I have another fic to cope with my angst about Hawke in the same playthrough so get ready for that shit. 
> 
> I highly recommend listening to "Approximate Girl" by Dalton Deschain. He's some indie band I found when looking for music to write to and I pretty much listened to that song the entire time writing it so. It fits the mood. Title from the same song. Title also picked for the pun.

[the tumblr](http://defaltmanifesto.tumblr.com)

 

She stares at Solas a lot. She keeps it to herself when there’s others around, but at night when she awakens and feels restless on the too soft bed, she sits up and tries to memorize his face with her eyes. Perhaps it’s the night time that fills her with apprehension. She feels like they’re on borrowed time, which is funny because of course they are. They’re in a war with someone almost omnipotent so it’s clear they won’t all make it out alive. But this feels different.

Her Keeper always told her to follow her instincts because that was the part of her still tapped into the truth of what an elf could be. Her instincts scream at her that there’s something she’s missing, that there’s an important piece to the puzzle that she’s missing and if she just knew what it was she’d be able to stop whatever it was that was going to take him away from her. She hugs her knees close to her chest and rips her gaze away. The last thing she needs now is a panic attack. There’s no reason to make someone else suffer a sleepless night like she is after all.

As soon as the thought forms, Solas stirs. She curses her own mind and slides back down under the covers to wrap herself around him. He rolls in her arms to face her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I lost you in the Fade,” he says, voice barely a whisper. “I thought I’d give you time to think before I joined you back here.”

“Polite of you,” she says. She tucks her face in his neck. “You should get your rest though.”

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, disregarding her remark with casual ignorance.

She pulls back to give him a look that says she sees what he’s doing. He just smiles in return. “You…aren’t going to leave me, are you?”

She wants to see reassurance in his eyes, but when she looks at him his gaze is unreadable, shuttered. It’s a foolish thing to ask. He’d warned her at the start that this was a bad idea and she’d pushed anyways. She was just breaking her own heart.

“I love you. Can that not be enough for now?” he asks.

She wants nothing more than to act like a child, scream that it wasn’t enough and cling to him. But she doesn’t. Instead, she presses their lips together and rolls them so she’s stretched out on top of him instead. It’s a surefire way to distract him. For all his deference to her outside, he doesn’t seem to be able to tolerate relinquishing control in the bedroom. He rolls them again and presses their lips together in something hotter and wetter. It’s enough to begin to satisfy the aching desperation in her chest but she wants more, wants him inside her so she can pretend the impending sense of despair is just her imagination.

He slides a hand up her thigh, pushing the fabric of her night shift up to brace against her hip instead. Her skin feels hotter than normal under his touch. It’s still habit sometimes to recoil from any sensation, engrained from years of believing she was in the wrong body and even now, with Solas who didn’t even bat an eye the first time they were together, she sometimes withdraws. Not tonight though. Desperation overwhelms the usual mental hang ups like they aren’t even there.

Solas pulls away, pressing his lips to her neck instead as he pushes her thigh up and out so he can grind against her through their clothes. She gasps out his name and rocks up against him. They’re both hard and while she likes this, the feeling of them pushing against each other and rutting like they have no control, it’s not what she wants.

“Solas,” she says, clutching at the back of his neck. “Please…”

Solas hums out a noise against her collarbone and shifts to suck at the space where her jaw meets her neck. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

She wants this, wants him, as many times as she can have him before they reach whatever end it is they’re hurtling towards. He pulls away and she resists the urge to cling. He grabs the lube from the nightstand drawer before returning to her arms, kissing her deep as he slicks his fingers. For a moment, she thinks he’s going to strip her. Instead, he slides his hand beneath her shift and presses two fingers in with one stroke to give her the uncomfortable stretch she always likes.

Solas presses his thumb against the sensitive skin between her hole and her balls as his fingers find a good rhythm. Her back arches, lips parting in a cry that he swallows down. She’s always preferred pleasure that didn’t center on her genitals. Her past…dalliances had never quite been able to see past it and it always took an exasperating amount of lecturing to get them to touch her the right way. Solas only needed a guiding hand once. He took to it with a single-minded focus that left her boneless and breathless. This time was just the same. His fingers stretch her and all the while he rubs small circles into the small gland from the outside.

She tosses her head back against the pillows as his lips fall to bite into the space just above the swell of her breast. It’s a counterpoint to the pleasure below. Her brain zigzags between the two sensations, neither one processing fully. When his lips find her again, she can’t do much more than pant against his lips, a noise similar to a whine escaping her as his fingers slide out.

“Hold on vhenan, just a moment,” Solas says.

She tries. She twists her fingers in the sheets and waits as he slicks his cock with lube and tries not to snarl when instead of pushing in, he teases her. His lips curl in a satisfied smile from her submission. Her impatience dissipates when he gives her what she wants, a slow slide of his cock as he thrusts in and then grinds with a sureness and force that makes her claw at his arms. He shifts back, hauling her hips into his lap as he rests back on his heels. The grip he has on her hips feels like it’ll bruise and fuck if that’s not the thing she wants most of all. A reminder that for at least a moment he’d owned her so completely.

The angle he has them at doesn’t let him thrust into her, not really. Instead, Solas settles for making her hips move the way he likes. She feels every inch of him as he shifts inside her and the pleasure slows into something less frantic and more lazy, something she can sink into with a sigh. Then his fingers press against that gland from the outside as he angles her so his cock can rub against it from the inside and she claps a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream as pleasure shoots up her spine and crackles down through her limbs. Her hand falls to the bed a moment later. Too many signals fire through her brain as Solas continues each movement with a deliberate focus that doesn’t let her catch her breath.

When she comes, her mind reaches for the blinding white nothing and for a moment, she’s swept away. There’s no fear, no sense of dread, just this feeling washing through her. By the time she comes back down, Solas is soft inside her and she can hear him mumbling something against her neck as she pants for breath. She can feel tears in her hair and pretends it’s just sweat.

 _It’s not enough,_ she thinks as she wraps her arms around him.

She doesn’t let go though.


End file.
